What Are Words For? (8/20)

[Railyn]

Welcome to Weird Al Wednesday (a little late).

I live in a rural area. There's lots of the deeply religious sects here (after all, this state was founded by quakers). It's kind of sad that they've become such a tourist machine. They're very nice people.

You know that no artist can go without controversy. Al has had some. He's angered one or two artists who didn't care for his take on their song, but this particular artist took it to the next level.

AMISH PARADISE
Parody of: Gangsters Paradice by Coolio
By: Weird Al Yankovic
Album: Bad Hair Day
Author: A. Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain
But that’s just perfect for an amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the morning I’m milkin’ cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows... fool
And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that
Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
I’ve churned butter once or twice
Living in an amish paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in an amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don’t care, in fact I wish him well
’cause I’ll be laughing my head off when he’s burning in hell

But I ain’t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An amish with a ’tude?
You know that’s unheard of

I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool

If you come to visit, you’ll be bored to tears
We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare
We’re just technologically impaired

There’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like robinson caruso
It’s as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
We’re just plain and simple guys
Living in an amish paradise
There’s no time for sin and vice
Living in an amish paradise
We don’t fight, we all play nice
Living in an amish paradise

Hitchin’ up the buggy, churnin’ lots of butter
Raised a barn on monday, soon I’ll raise anutter

Think you’re really righteous?
Think you’re pure in heart?
Well, I know I’m a million time as humble as thou art

I’m the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin’ points for the afterlife

So don’t be vain and don’t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
We’re all crazy mennonites
Living in an amish paradise
There’s no cops or traffic lights
Living in an amish paradise
But you’d probably think it bites
Living in an amish paradise

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!

My Opinion In A Nutshell: Al ticked off Coolio. Coolio felt Al made too light of his song's serious subject. Al got permission from Coolio's people, but he swears he didn't give it. At any rate, Al does not have to get permission from anyone for a parody, but he does it to be fair, and he also feels it's fair to give credit where it is due, and to give the songwriter a cut of what is rightfully theirs. Al apologized several times to Coolio, but he still likes to slam Al. BTW, Coolio has no problem cashing the royalty checks he gets. As an aside, I grew up next door to the Amish. They're great people. And Al makes a goof here - the Mennonites are a completely different sect, and they range from being as strict as Amish, to more modern groups who drive cars. They are such a tourist draw around here. I love down in Lancaster they have the Authentic Amish Farm - spend mega $$$ to stay there - or come to my house, and I'll take you to a real Amish farm - they'd love to tell you all about their life and show you around.

Favorite Line: "But we aint really quaint so please don't point and stare - we're just technologically impaired"

[H2IZCOOL]

Hey Railyn.

Sorry I'm a day late for Weird Al Wednesday. Yesterday was, shall we say, unusual.

This is one of my favorite Weird Al songs. Maybe Coolio considers Gangsta Paradise a "serious song" - I consider it (c)rap. And what's Coolio complaining about? He ripped off Stevie Wonder in the first place! Therefore, I think this is a great parody. One of Weird Al's best. The overall effect of substituting the peaceful Amish for the boys in the "hood" is just brilliant. The use of the word "fool" is priceless, and I love the Gilligan's Island bit.

I had picked up on the Mennonite/Amish mistake as well.

Great choice!

[Railyn]

H2IZCOOL said:

Hey Railyn.

Sorry I'm a day late for Weird Al Wednesday. Yesterday was, shall we say, unusual.

This is one of my favorite Weird Al songs. Maybe Coolio considers Gangsta Paradise a "serious song" - I consider it (c)rap. And what's Coolio complaining about? He ripped off Stevie Wonder in the first place! Therefore, I think this is a great parody. One of Weird Al's best. The overall effect of substituting the peaceful Amish for the boys in the "hood" is just brilliant. The use of the word "fool" is priceless, and I love the Gilligan's Island bit.

I had picked up on the Mennonite/Amish mistake as well.

Great choice!

That's ok, you're excused. I was just bustin on you earlier. Coolio can complain all he wants, the fact remains he's never returned any one of the royalty checks Al's people have sent him.

The video for this is Hilarious! I love Florence Henderson substituted for Michelle Pfeifer. It's pretty darn funny. My favorite part is where the two younger guys (about 13 or so) are looking at this amish porno magazine where the girl is showing (gasp) an ankle!

When we go to Harrisburg, we pass about a dozen "Quilts For Sale" places, but I want to know where the discount ones are - they are beautiful but a couple hundred at a pop.

He always gets big cheers for this one around here. For obvious reasons, and it's a staple of his live show ever since it came out.

And I said it before, but it bears repeating.......I hope your wife is back up and around soon. I broke one ankle and dislocated the other at the same time - it is very painful and I understand completely how she feels - I can't imagine it hurts any less. Nelson and I are pulling for her.

[Dawn]

I remember hearing about the controversy with Coolio, and I've never quite understood why Coolio has been so difficult about the subject. After all, he was given due credit, but he's still holding a grudge.

The area I live in sounds very similar to yours. There are quite a few Old Order Mennonites living in the surrounding rural area, and it's not at all unusual to see horse-drawn buggies on the rural roads here.

[Pete70s]

Great parody! Al is a class-act all the way! Coolio can go (insert expletive here)...

[Railyn]

Dawn said:

I remember hearing about the controversy with Coolio, and I've never quite understood why Coolio has been so difficult about the subject. After all, he was given due credit, but he's still holding a grudge.

The area I live in sounds very similar to yours. There are quite a few Old Order Mennonites living in the surrounding rural area, and it's not at all unusual to see horse-drawn buggies on the rural roads here.

We have 3 "grades" of Mennonite around here. The really strict ones w/horse and buggy, the medium ones that probably have limited electricity, ride bicycles, and attend church in an actual church instead of someones home, and the modern ones, who attend public school, drive cars (black or dark blue w/all the chrome spraypainted out and no luxuries like AC), have phones, TV and electricity.

We have lots of Amish - several farms less than a mile from my parents - they have sawmills and sell wicked good baked goods. The Amish schoolhouse is right up the road from my parents - complete with his and hers outhouses.

[Railyn]

Pete70s said:

Great parody! Al is a class-act all the way! Coolio can go (insert expletive here)...

It's always blown my mind, Pete. Al gives back more than any other parody artist does, and gives royalties and songwriting credits on all his albums. Who knows what goes on in Coolio's mind.